FAITH is spelled RISK

“If you spent time with Jesus, in prayer—He just might take you where He’s going.
And that will always take you beyond your comfort zone, it will always involve some mixture of wide eyed adventure & terrifying risk.
And it will always result in the building up in your faith and the kind of stories you grow old telling.” -Tyler Staton
——

Challenging myself to take risks with a smile and courage with every step.

I wrote in my journal this week that I feel 100% out in the wild wilderness of life—bright eyed in wonder. And at the same time rustling around searching for the drawn out plans for my life (that God surly wrote down somewhere and gave to me).

The phrase FAITH is spelled RISK has really been echoing in my life…and at a deeper level realising that there’s no risk that I’ll ever take that doesn’t include God. So as I go with God —I abide in Him, listen and walk in His ways.

“And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deut 10:12

“Courage is only the accumulation of small steps.”

As I look back on 2022 it truly was a year of great risk, pain and growth. It really was a rippling away of a lot of my earthly anchors. But I knew that stepping out in faith and trusting God even though it felt like I was trying to see through a fogged up window—would be worth it.

I’ll be honest, I am not a person who is big on risk. So when I read this quote below I was encouraged;

“Courage is only the accumulation of small steps.” Gyorgy Konrad

I’m not naturally that courageous of a person. I don’t typically raise my hand first…but I have realized as I looked back on 2022 (and really my life as a whole) that I have made COURAGEOUS choices just with small steps. I may have taken the ladder into the pool instead of been the cannon baller…but that’s OK!

Not everyone needs to get drenched…and I still made it into the pool.

I think we sometimes put these unknown pressures on our lives because of timing or expectations that cause us to doubt ourselves in ways we really never should.

And so this year, in 2023 —I’m setting out to build upon these courageous steps I’ve been making. To nurture those roots that have been growing. I’m gonna choose to uncover that small ember that is still burning in me, under a pile of ashes and fan it into flame. And let’s just see what God might do.

I’m choosing to look at following Jesus as my pursuit and the steps that bring me closer to trusting Him are worth it…even if they are with teary eyes and sweaty armpits.

Psalm 16:5-11 -I’m clinging to this year and declaring with my life.

“The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
    you hold my lot.
 The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

 I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
    in the night also my heart instructs me.
 I have set the Lord always before me;
    because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
    my flesh also dwells secure.
 For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
    or let your holy one see corruption.

You make known to me the path of life;
    in your presence there is fullness of joy;
    at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

So as I wave goodbye to 2022 , I will choose to see the good that came from being COURAGEOUS. And realize that on the journey God was just up ahead a little, guiding me all along with His voice.

The planting of the Lord…

God’s been speaking to me about vines in prophetic pictures so I’ve been doing some studying a bit on how vineyards are made and maintained. Pretty fascinating how NOT beautiful they look (this pic above is a vineyard in Florida). It’s basically a rooted tethered plant that grows buds all over by design. And surprisingly right here in this pic the wines are alive…even though they look very dead.

Part of the process to produce wine is, the vinedresser has to prune the buds that aren’t growing in the right direction. To produce the BEST vines that will produce the BEST grapes, to make the BEST wine. Pretty interesting in light of the scriptures God’s been illuminating to me.

John 15: 4-5 “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

Proverbs 31:16 “She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.”

Isaiah 61:3 “That they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

I’m not a farmer or vineyard owner but wow do these images and processes stir something in me. The work that needs to be orchestrated and the hands the that need to do it—to produce the BEST wine. It totally clicks in my mind this process of producing a life that bears good fruit. The partnering with vinedresser (God) and the maturing of the fruit (following, growing, refining) is so applicable to our life with Christ today.

Matthew 9:38 “Lord of the harvest”

I do have a deep desire to produce the BEST wine I can in life—so learning to partner with God as He does the grand work in me is necessary and actually living that “easy yoke” life (Matt 11:30)

-jdw

"If we put our message into action, our prayers will become extraordinarily powerful."

God’s Kingdom is set up in such a way that we can’t work effectively in supernatural power without sacrificing as we do it— because sacrifice is the truest expression of love…when Jesus walked the earth, he bonded sacrificially with many people in many situations, and now we get to join that ministry, the message is: every person is worth suffering for personally. If we put out message into action, our prayers will become extraordinarily powerful.” -Jordan Seng

To willingly give up, to freely hand out, to joyfully pour out with no expected return.

Bend and blow with the wind

Ever present the little light stays lite by the pure oil below

“Like oil upon your feet

Like wine for you to drink

Like oil upon my heart

I pour my love on you”

What does it look like to sacrifice for the sake of the Glory of God?

This is where my heart sits today. With this question, as the Holy Spirit gives me guidance on the how.

To be devoted in every season,

With a life laid down—eyes fixed on Kingdom culture.

A future bright with great expectation.

-Amen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOR1FpfpEik (lyrics above from this song)

“How do you plan to commune with God today?

Of all the means God could have used, prayer seems the weakest, slipperiest, and easiest to ignore. So it is, unless Jesus was right in that most baffling claim. He went away for our sakes, as a form of power sharing, to invite us into direct communion with God and to give us a crucial role in the struggle against the forces of evil.” -Philip Yancey

——

After reading this quote above I felt the Holy Spirit say “How do you plan to commune with God today?”

Truth is I don’t do a good job of setting the table to connect with God throughout my day. I have a pretty good rhythm of morning devotion time with the Lord— but throughout the day I constantly forget to tune back into what God is up to.

This reminds me of when I was responsible for setting the table before a meal as a kid. I remember my mom giving us that regular responsibility of a few staples items too place on the table…the napkins, utensils, plates…etc and then as a part of setting the table we were to get everyones drinks too. I remember when my Grandaddy came over he loved sweet tea with his meal. Not like half & half sugar like that deep south style—where sugar is the main ingredient. Grandmother on the other hand wanted unsweet tea. Mom always liked water and Dad also wanted tea. And then all the kids got water…always water. Though I eventually memorized what each persons preferred to drink, I still always went around and asked every adult what they preferred.

Kind of funny what we learn as kids and remember. But as I’ve been processing what it means “to set the table" for communion with God, I think it means to invite Him to an already set table. Where He has what He desires and then communion begins.

So simply the question I think we need to ask is; “How are you setting the table to meet with God”?

Are you rushing to put the utensils out and figure out His drink order and then sitting anxiously waiting for Him to arrive?

Or

Do you even wait or do you rush out before He arrives?

Or

Are you sitting at the table that’s completely empty and so unaware that He’s sitting right there with you, not at all ashamed of the little of yourself you had to bring to the table?

>>>>>>

There’s a lot of ways we arrive at the table to be with the Lord. But the truth is when we decide to meet with Him— He is pleased. The God that He is, is relational. Always and forever inching His way closer to us. He wants to meet with you, however that looks like. Whether there is an elaborate table & meal or if there’s just a floor that your seated on waiting for Him.

It’s not about the meal or the nice table setting—it’s that you invite Him to come and meet with you.

Striving < Thriving

“He turns rivers into a desert, springs of water into thirsty ground,

a fruitful land into a salty waste, because of the evil of its inhabitants.

He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water.

And there he lets the hungry dwell, and they establish a city to live in;

they sow fields and plant vineyards and get a fruitful yield.” Psalm 107:33-38

As I stumbled on this verse this Summer, It made me stop. As seasons have been highlighted in the way I see life I’ve realized how much I don’t really need to strive. And that thriving is possible as I partner with the Holy Spirit throughout my day.

If I really truly believe God is present, perfecting and posturing me to handle every circumstance, whether it be in a parched desert land or fruitful inhabitance—letting Him navigate is key.

It’s way more about He than me! It’s in realizing this freedom, I begin to really live—and Thrive.

Being dependent on the Holy Spirit to navigate me really takes the pressure off and postures my heart to follow in trust. Functioning still in skin but more in Spirit.

“The reality of God's voice does not make seeking for it unnecessary. When I seek for something, I look for it everywhere. It's when we seek God earnestly, prepared to go out of our way to examine anything that might be his overture toward us—including obvious things like Bible verses or our own thoughts--that he promises to be found Jeremiah 29:13). But we'll be able to seek him only if we honestly believe that He might explicitly address us in ways suitable to his purposes in our lives.” (‘Hearing God’ by Dallas Willard)

May we continue to seek to find God, whatever season you find yourself in. And ultimately know that He will respond and help tune your ear when every timing is right.

-jdw

“The spirit of man is the lamp of the Lord, searching all his innermost parts.” Proverbs 20:27

My Hallelujah will never be the same

“Every season actually has its beauty if we are yielded to it, if not we will really suffer through the season at hand, and loose the sight of the journey’s purpose.” 

This side of heaven our hearts cry and struggles almost send up a different kind of desire & need for God. In the tough seasons of like we express a dependency on Him and a surrender with a different kind of sound. Because we realize we really are not in control.

And that effects the sound of our Hallelujah here below.

In these seasons where we feel turned around, or feel God isn’t doing anything or frankly feel alone and unsure of what to do —its a kind of Holy Ground. Or maybe even better put a “Holy Grounding”.

The truth is we really want to be in control (and think we fully can be) as humans. We scurry around trying to make everything happen and get disappointed when all of it doesn’t work out. And for me disappointment can just destroy the reality and follow me around like a lens in my glasses ruining all perspectives & realities. I’ve been working on adjusting my lenses (but that’s a post for another day).

I didn’t so much realize how it effected me until I started to see myself maturing this Summer. Almost as if there was a switch that has turned off and I needed to flip it back on. As I’ve walked through some difficult moments this season I’ve found myself almost grateful for it. Not grateful for the hurtful things or the disappointments—but grateful for the way I’v partnered with God in every situation. Navigating emotions, making wise choices, and even choosing to do the right things when the wrong thing was done to me.

I’m learning that the maturing in me can outlast the unhealthy hurtful things around me.

“Maturing tree’s establish a healthy growth pattern that includes some limbs needing to be cut off as a pattern of life, so the full try can be nourished and fully mature.”

Right where you belong

There’s this kinda tension in the waiting that feels like you’re running out of time…though there’s nothing really telling you that specifically—it’s this inner turmoil felt.

I’ve been here a while.

For me the grand abyss is beautiful and exciting to a point…and then I just wanna take the jump and fly to next season. Cut my losses and get on to the new thing to avoid the feelings attached to the old.

But as I’m learning, life is much more of a journey than a destination. We make plans, have desires and expectations but God is our Sovereign guide. He will pivot our steps when there’s a need for an edit or change. And for me I realize that’s a lot of my life.

I recently heard a pastor say “Without God we can’t and without us, He won’t.”

Made me stop and realize that partnering with God demands a reverent and surrendered response from me to His leading in my life. There is both a trusting Him in this season and a pursuing His plan. Both required a response from me; to follow and sometimes initiate.

We can look to when God directed Israel to follow His direction, in Deuteronomy 11:22-25 “For if you will be careful to do all this commandment that I command you to do, loving the Lord your God, walking in all his ways, and holding fast to him, then the Lord will drive out all these nations before you, and you will dispossess nations greater and mightier than you. Every place on which the sole of your foot treads shall be yours. Your territory shall be from the wilderness to the Lebanon and from the River, the river Euphrates, to the western sea. No one shall be able to stand against you. The Lord your God will lay the fear of you and the dread of you on all the land that you shall tread, as he promised you.”

There’s a sensitive language here of being careful to follow God’s commands. God is reminding Israel that they have a part to play in following His commands. They have a choice to make…will they choose to follow His ways and gain life to the fullest? Or will they choose to dismiss God’s commands and make their own pathway.

I can feel their tension right here and now in my life. I know that I have a daily choice to trust God and continue to wait or I can give into my humanity and resolve to the anxiety knocking at my door about the future. God gives us a choice in how to wait. What I’ve learned is that the peace He gives is never cheap and always worth my effort. And with time joy bursts forth to, because He is so good to me.

-jdw

Dwell in You Richly

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:16-17

Dwell in You Richly…

280 days studying the bible deeply together with this community at Emmaus Bible Ministries has completely marked me, motivated me and changed me.

I didn’t know I needed this year…and almost didn’t even apply to the 10 month Biblical Studies program at Emmaus Ministries…but wow, God knew what He was doing when He nudged me and affirmed the decision to go for it! In so many ways He showed up providing, directing and leading me these last 10 months. And I’m so grateful.

As I’ve wrestled with the scriptures, gained knowledge about the context & history around the time period and stories— I’ve realized it’s birthed a new desire in me to understand the Bible more fully. It’s also resurrected creative desires in me and reminded me of the purposes and plans God has just for me.

Though there’s no clear road ahead for me, I know He’s guiding me in the fog. Though some days I feel like I’m just wandering in the wilderness—I know I’m never alone. And ultimately that the next season with His help & guide, will be more & better than I ever expected.

“Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie! You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you, I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.” Psalm 40:4-5

A NOTICABLE FRAGRANCE

Jesus is like a sweet fragrance we recognize, foster and cultivate when we connect with Him. So even in the doubting, the unanswered prayers and in the waiting we know & can recognize His fragrance.

It’s the nature of His fellowship with us that can acclimate us to a New Holy Level.

Surrendering of ourselves can bring us closer to Him.

Maybe just for a moment, but that moment can fully change us.

“Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.” John 12:3

Mary knew Jesus. She knew His nature, because she sought Him out and sent time with him. So when she knew He was heading to the cross she made a grand physical sacrifice to honor and anoint Him with her best. She didn’t just bring what she had, she brought her very best…this could have been her savings account, her future stability or her most valuable possession.

The smell in that room paired with the act of great sacrifice had to grab everyone’s attention.

She knew this Holy level Jesus was on required a sacrificial response from her. And she responded with genuine reverence and love. A noticeable fragrance.

There is a responsibility to carrying the fragrance of Jesus. And like it or not if you are in relationship and pursuing Him you are gonna take on His fragrance and character. The tasting and seeing of who Jesus is an overflowing river you are invited into.

And the beauty is theres a lot of people already experiencing the taste of His presence and power.

But it’s up to you when you decide to join the river wild.

Set your mind on things of God

Reflecting on Mark 8:33, where Jesus in front of his disciples rebukes and calls out Peter for focusing on the things of this earth and not the things of His kingdom.

But turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” Mark 8:33

This command of “Setting our eyes on things of God and not of man” is scattered all over the Scriptures. We see Jesus address the same thing in both Matthew & Luke, but we also see it from way back in the Old Testament Deuteronomy & 1 Chronicles.

“And when all these things come upon you, the blessing and the curse, which I have set before you, and you call them to mind among all the nations where the Lord your God has driven you.” Deuteronomy 30:1

Now set your mind and heart to seek the Lord your God. Arise and build the sanctuary of the Lord God, so that the ark of the covenant of the Lord and the holy vessels of God may be brought into a house built for the name of the Lord.” 1 Chronicles 22:19

I’m learning in my life that it is a daily rhythm to seek God and it’s a journey to get to know Him in my life.

Daily I have a choice to set my mind on the things not yet seen and project my eyes towards His kingdom ahead. Reminding myself of the promises He has made and that He can be trusted. That the truth is pursuing Him is the greatest satisfaction of my life and that the overflow really is His presence and blessings little and big daily.

I GET to be a child of God

I GET to serve Him with my life

I GET to be in relationship with Him

I GET to set my mind on things above and NOT on things of man.

AMEN.

Faithful to the end...

Character builds endurance…but to build character you must be tested, challenged and make the choices to endure.

Reflecting on Romans 5 and releasing that the adversity that I typically experience is minor…very minor. As we see in Paul’s epistles there’s persecution in the churches. Christians are being tested for their faith in actual life threatening ways. To proclaim Jesus was of much greater cost for the people in the Ancient Near East than it is for me right now.

Yet there is still endurance to be gained by the experiences we have in life. As I’m coming out of a season where there was a lot of disappointments as well as joys, it’s in the processing of this pain that I’m seeing my character bloom. It’s in the way Paul puts it in Romans 5:1-5

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

Some things to notice is that all the promises of God that we receive are THRU Him and BY Faith. There is no more mystery in who God is through Jesus. There’s no moment that happens in our world that can’t be redeemed. This life we live as Christians is meant to be WITH CHRIST a relationship of influence by HIS design.

It has a lot less to do with us than we think on a daily basis but it does involve a life willing surrendered and constantly seeking His wisdom, Holy Spirits instruction and making actions towards mirroring His ways.

Things to think about:

Is Jesus central in your life?

What might you need to surrender to let God work Thru You?

Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Amen

-jdw

My Journal 2.2.2022

Stepping out in faith

Doesn’t make perfect since

Yet the presence of God

and His directional peace

Has a flow like no other

Nutrient river I’ve found

His river truly satisfies

The way only He can

Which is clearly apart

Of His excellent plan

And intentional ways

So don’t run from the questioning

Don’t fear the unknown

Settle into knowing God more

In every season

And let Him navigate

the rivers flow in your life

Psalm of the Mountain

— Psalm of the mountains —

Oh God of untapped creation

How majestic are your ways in all the earth

Every morning while the earth sleeps

You are painting another masterpiece

The grandeur of the mountain peaks

Birth worship within us, to you oh Lord

God of steadiness

How majestic are your ways in all the earth

Creation moves patiently on your command

Even the clouds dance upon your whisper

The Animals are fed and trees are watered

by your perfect design

The ground is fruitful and brings harvest

By your hand, the world is sustained

Oh God of the covenant

How majestic are your ways in all the earth

Like the mountains are unmoved

Your covenant is faithful

You are consistent like the rhythm of sun

Both setting and rising right on time

Every Day A New Surrender

“It is the lived conviction that everything in the scriptures is live-able, not just true—but live-able. this is the super natural core a lived resurrection and Holy Spirit core of christian life.” Eugene Peterson

Been pondering this for a while. as it comes to the quote above, I think Eugene means is—what God commanded in the bible for us to obey is possible…it’s difficult but it’s possible. In terms of the how we do it well…I don’t have answers for that specifically. But as I’ve been studying the bible this year through an amazing school called Emmaus Bible Ministries I’ve been convicted how important it is to try and live a more holy and surrendered life.

Asking myself questions like:

What does it look like to be less comfortable and more connected to the Holy Spirit?

What does It mean to actually wait on the Lord and not make moves on my own ambition?

What does it look like to really trust God as provider in all things and be quickly joyfully generous?

What does it really feel like to trust God?

I’ve also been challenging myself with some new small disciplines, that I’m praying will take root in my life to become rhythms rather than lists of “to dos”. One of them that has been really affective is in the mornings after I open my eyes (before my feet hit the floor) I intentionally connect with the Holy Spirit through prayer. Inviting Him into my day and asking Him to navigate my emotions, steps, thoughts and interactions with people. It’s really so simple but been so fruitful in my days.

Next goal is to put my phone “to bed” 1 hours before I go to bed.

I really think these simple things that can really shift our moments throughout the day and frankly I need all the help I can get from the Holy Spirit daily.

New resource Practicing The Way I’ve been loving encouraging a lot of these ideas! Check it out!

Winter : Brings Clarity

“I think if I knew what God was going to do next I wouldn’t notice as much of what He’s up to now.”

If I had to pick a favorite season it would be Winter.

There’s just something about the white capped mountains, the hazy days, the need for a cozy calm evening by the fire and the anticipation of the Christmas season that I love.

But I’ve been thinking about the season of life that is like described as “Winter” lately, and how I feel almost completely opposite about it.

You know those times in life where your hearts desires aren’t being met or are even seen on the horizon yet—or maybe you feel a bit lost on where the tracks in the snow have gone for direction in your life.

This is where I find myself, in a Winter season —and I’ve been here many times before.

But for some reason this one feels different. It feels longer, more foggy and much colder than the ones before. It also feels like there’s a lot of work being done beneath the surface. It’s almost as if a daily pursuit for direction, clarity or a pulse on whats coming isn’t even needed anymore. What is needed is my reliance on my breathing, in and out. That’s it. It’s like the hard work I’ve been doing in this Winter Season is done. All I need to do is Wait, Watch and Wonder what God might do next.

And appreciate the blanketed peace only he can bring.

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” Colossians 3:15-16

What if we : Hide Ourselves In Christ

“O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, ‘Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.’ Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.” AW Tozer

I want a lot of things in life, those both tangible and unseen. I also desire to be certain ways— like to live in a WILLINGNESS and to glorify God.

—>> Even when I fail Him. <<—

There’s plenty of flippant language about failure and backward movement in our christian lives…but how do we get out of the human rut…how do we actually be changed?

I believe the beginnings of this is to hide ourselves in Christ.

What does that mean? I don’t really mean to hide from people or in a room for a while.

As the Psalmist puts it in Psalm 32:7 “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

The hiddenness I’m talking about is to be in the deep with God. In close valuable relationship.

There’s a certain knowing and understand that comes in being close and confident in Christ. It’s as if the more you understand the more clearly you see Him working in your life.

What if we considered Him in the everyday normal day, leaving space for the Holy Spirit to speak and in-turn navigate our lives.

What would that look like?

This is a challenge for me too in this season.

“Your calling is where your deepest joy and the worlds deepest need cross or intersect.” Rich Mullens

Every time I get the opportunity to lead worship I pray; 

“Ok God, I did the preparation now it’s all you. You get to do the transformation in me and thru me with those in this room.” Because if anything comes from me it’s not of any worth but what can come from God thru me, now that’s of greatest value—gold by briefest measure.

“Because only you satisfy, this heart of mine.”

Psalm 90: 14-17

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
    that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
    for as many years as we have seen trouble.
May your deeds be shown to your servants,
    your splendor to their children.

May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us;
    establish the work of our hands for us—
    yes, establish the work of our hands.

Attention: What has your ATTENTION

it’s been hard for me lately to slow down my mind.

There has been so many changes in my life and in the world in the last few months it’s felt like a lot. And frankly it’s just felt easier to keep going then to stop, calm myself down to focus and then deal with the unsettled settling of the heart and soul.

But I’m doing this today.

Stopping.

Breathing.

&

Beginning Again.

Which got me thinking about all the things that have been grabbing for my attention. The constant push pull of the world, human emotions, environment and community. It’s exhausting, it really is.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:25-27

As I move thru these emotions and learn new disciplines in following Christ—I’m frequently reminded that the best way for me to operate as a Christian is to lean in & rely on God. Because the stark reality is life lived with me in control, is empty and unfruitful.

Yet with Christ at the center and in full pursuit, all things will work together for His good.

And HIS good is what good for me.

:: 2020 :: Ok Bye

Every year I sit down toward the end of the year (usually December) and think thru all the memories. Those that were good, the hard ones, the fun adventures and the things I wish I could forget that happened in the year.

But this year I’m gonna do things a little different because you know what, of all the years I’ve been alive this one has felt the heaviest and has for sure marked me deep.

…and it’s not because of Covid.

It’s because of the humans who went to heaven this year, loads of changes at work, the personal struggles I’ve journeyed thru and the consistent weight of waiting for God to pave some kinda way in the wilderness for me (that kinda feels like Gods been dropping pebbles for me to jump on). 

Lots of promises I’ve been waiting on and lots of prayers have been lifted—but of all the things this year of all the realities that have kinda smacked me in the face this year I’ve realized...that the God I worship, the Emmanuel one who is with me always, has been painfully close to me in this season and for that I can be grateful. And for that I will rejoice in what happened this year. Because 2020 has taught me to savor the moments, live patiently into the day and trust deeply in a mysterious consistent Creator who really is the only one who knows what the heck is going on down here.

So cheers to a New Year and seasons ahead that might be the same in some ways but we won’t have to be the same, we can be changed.